Not A Bad Thing

Yes, I am fully aware that this is the title of a Justin Timberlake song, and yes, he gets mad credit for it because it is an amazing song…also a big reason why I am writing this.  That song, in more ways than one, describes my exact feels at this moment.   What do you mean though Shane, what *feels* could you be speaking of?  Well, let me learn ya something about what’s going on inside my head, and let’s be honest, heart.

So, there’s this girl.  Well, woman rather, and an absolutely amazing one at that.  For the time being, we will call her something totally masculine and evasive to throw anyone off, and call her Luigi (if she reads this, she’ll get my Super Mario Brothers reference).  Moving on, she is hands down, the most amazing woman I have ever met in my life.  As I am typing this, all I can think about is her smile, and how it brightens my entire day when I get to see it.  It’s one of those smiles that literally warms up your heart and soul, combine that with her deep beautiful eyes, I’m lost.  There are no words that describe the sheer beauty of this woman, inside and out.  For those that follow Game of Thrones, picture Khaleesi, but twice as amazing and beautiful.  There you have her, my Luigi.  She’s sweet, caring, understanding, *smaaht*, and just perfect.  I am doing everything in my power to take things slow with her, because I want things to be perfect, I want things to be right, I want the fairy tale romance…the white picket fence, the big house, all of it.  You may ask, “what’s the catch?”  There is no catch.  Not with this one.  “But, Shane, you said that song has meaning, and I listened to it, there has to be a catch.”  Well no, not really, and if there was, that’s her business and not y’alls.  So bam!  I will not tell her story, but I will speak on how I feel about her.

There are things about this woman that not even my words can describe.  I just can’t.  There are no written words beautiful enough to describe her, nor how she makes me feel.  She truly makes my heart skip a beat when she is around me.  When I check my phone every time it lights up, and I see it is her, I break into a big, goofy grin.  I know this because my best friend pointed it out to me earlier when I was texting her; “Who ya texting buddy?  You have this big goofy grin going.”  I mean, c’mon now, it can’t be *that* bad.  I’ve had feelings for women before, pretty strong feelings, hell, I’ve been married.  But nothing I can describe even comes close.  I’ve seen things that have absolutely taken my breath away, I’ve experienced things that were simply life changing, but nothing like this.  The closest thing to ever make me smile this much was the first moment I held my baby boy, and hearing him laugh for the first time; *THIS* makes me about as happy as that did.  

I’m not one to jump through hoops and go out of my way to say sweet things, especially if they are not true, and this is not one of those instances where I am saying nice things to make myself look better…this is one of those instances where I literally cannot say something other than sweet things about her.  In my eyes, she is that kind of girl.  That kind of perfect.  The kind of woman you write home to mom about, and again, and again.  The best part?  The nerdy and goofy things I say and do are actually funny to her, I’m 100% myself with her, and it has not ran her off yet.  Look, I’m not here to score some bonus points, I don’t even care if anyone reads this post, I’m writing it because I simply cannot get the girl off my mind.  There are a million things in this world that I am unsure of, and do not know, but I do know one thing…I do know that this girl makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time, she gives me that funny feeling in my stomach, that sparkle in my eye is back and it feels good.  I’m not going to bore you with all the gooey details, but it’s definitely not a bad thing…